Why Saying No Is Ok

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Are You Ready To Quit Your Role As Superwoman?

You are the person friends and family go to with all their problems because you will thoughtfully listen and do your very best to be there for everyone. However, what about you?

When are you saying no to others and being there for yourself?

I get it, it’s hard to put you and your needs first when you are so busy being everyone else’s everything. Plus, who ever heard of a superwoman turning in her cape for a regular coat? You have responsibilities and things you should do, so of course saying no is really not an option; or so you’ve made yourself to believe.

And let’s keep it real, the role of superwoman isn’t as glamorous as it seems on TV or the movies. The real life superwoman is a counselor, credit union, emergency contact, Uber driver, chef, housekeeper, party planner, sexual desires provider, and wing gal extraordinaire all wrapped into one woman. She can be whatever everyone else wants her to be because she says yes to everything, but this can also be exhausting.

In theory, saying no seems so easy. It’s only two letters and not difficult to pronounce. Yet, for the superwoman this is the most difficult phrase to express.

Who wants to be that woman that says no and lets people down? There is pride in being deemed the superwoman of your tribe. What does that say about you if people start to think you are not their superwoman? Will they no longer have full faith in your advice? Will you be deemed weak because you no longer can take care of everything?

But let’s think about it for a second. If you could no longer take care of everything as superwoman, would the world end? Will your friend never realize she needs to dumb her cheating boyfriend? Will your kids never figure out life’s lessons? Of course everything will work itself out with or without you.

Still not convinced you should quit your role as superwoman? Try this exercise.

Saying No Exercise

Run to the nearest mirror and look yourself in the eyes and say, ‘No.’

Now say it again, but louder.

Say:

  • “No, I can’t help you move on my only day off”
  • “No, I love you but I can no longer fund your dreams while I struggle”
  • “No, I no longer can stay in a relationship that doesn’t meet my needs”
  • “I love you dearly, but no, I don’t have time to plan your 30th birthday, bridal shower, or baby shower in 2 days.”
  • “No I don’t want to go out, I want to stay home alone and do nothing.”

Next, come up with your own sentences telling people no.

It may take a bit to get used to, but how freeing is it saying the word ‘No?’

If Jill Scott thought one was the magical number, then ‘no’ is the magical word. Keep saying no and you’ll notice a difference in your life.

 

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