I saw a quote on Instagram that said, “A wise woman once said ‘fuck that’ and lived happily ever.” Reading this made me want to stand up and start a slow clap as ‘fuck that’ is such a common phrase in my life these days. I say it so often that I sometimes wonder if I coined the phrase.
Now, by no means am I campaigning for women to say it just to be difficult or for no reason. ‘Fuck that’ needs to reserved for a particular moment. It’s when you need to say with strength that something or someone does not add value to your life or goes against you honoring yourself. These are the times I totally encourage women to scream, ‘fuck that’ for the entire world to hear. Heck, I will scream it with you if you want to make sure you’re heard.
Yet, we have all had those moments when we wanted to say no, but said yes because we:
- Didn’t love our self
- Didn’t think we were worthy of respect
- Didn’t feel strong enough to speak up
- Didn’t want to upset or hurt someone’s feelings
These all are examples of us not respecting our needs and ourselves. When I look back at my 20’s, I want to slap my younger self for the numerous times I didn’t see my worth and said yes to so many things that made me hate myself even more. But I wanted to be liked, especially by the guys I dated, so I felt like I didn’t have a choice but to say yes.
One guy in particular that I dated the summer after my first year in college was the wealthy beneficiary of my lack of self-worth. He told me right from the start that I would have to pay for everything if we went out, because he was saving for a car. I roll my eyes these days at that situation; however, in the moment I was silently pissed. I questioned internally why I had to pay for absolutely everything, but didn’t dare speak my mind in fear that he’d leave me if I said no. So I spent a summer paying for every single date and hating myself more every single dollar spent.
I vowed never do that again because I finally knew better. But when you don’t know better you can’t fault yourself for the things you did in your past.
I love me enough to say, ‘fuck that’
However, there does come a time in your life when the ‘fuck that’ light comes on as if you finally paid the electricity bill and it’s nearly impossible to go back to saying yes to the things that don’t serve your needs. That’s when ‘fuck that’ becomes a common phrase.
My cousin is the queen of politely saying ‘fuck that’ to the point where you walk away and suddenly realize what she really meant. I have not mastered this skill set or maybe I subconsciously never had a desire to because I love the strength behind me declaring I love me enough to say, ‘fuck that.’ That being said, I do value finding polite ways to get your ‘fuck that’ out without getting fired or cussing out your loved ones.
Polite Ways To Say ‘Fuck That”
- I understand where you’re coming from, however, _____
- I appreciate your feedback, [long pause] but this is what I’m going to do____ (this must be done in person while staring the other person dead in eyes; great for work)
- I know you want the best for me, but _______ (great for loved ones)
- I know you love me and want me to be happy, however______
Being able to say ‘fuck that’ is just one way to start owning your rogue mindset. How has being able to say ‘fuck that’ changed your life?