I Am So Over Trying To Date


Dating Experiment Gone Wrong

I’m so done with dating for the sake of dating!bad-date-blacks-dating-experiment

Three months ago I questioned if I was datable. Many said I was datable after reading my article, so I decided to put the theory to test.

For three months I allowed friends, family and slightly random strangers to set me up on dates. I attended a night of speed dating, which was umm interesting laughable. And I forced myself to be very active on online dating sites and to attend weekly social gatherings.

My so-called dating experiment ended up being a dating nightmare.  The first guy I was set up with looked like Santa Claus. The second guy wouldn’t go out with me unless it was a threesome with my friend. I thought the third guy I was set up with was great, but then he never called me again. And how could I forget the friend who set me up with an Irish soccer player who clearly thought he had hired a call girl while he was in town.

I thought expanding my search outside of San Francisco might help, so I went on a few dates while in San Diego. One guy was so high that he could I-Think-This-Date's-Going-Really-Well-dating-experiement-Kevin-McShanehardly open his eyes and had nerves to bring two friends on our date. I thought it was funny when was confused when his boy asked me out in front of him.

The best or potentially worst experience during this dating experiment was the guy who I met at a networking event who claimed he had the perfect guy for me. For two weeks he bated me along with saying it was going to be a night I’d remember while refusing to give me any details. All I knew was the date, time and that my date would be wearing a grey suit.

The guy setting me up dropped me off at a coffee shop where I would later meet my date. Before he left, he handed me an envelope and told me to wait fifteen minutes before opening it.  Best believe I ripped that envelope open once time was up.

Inside was this super sweet certificate declaring that day Danielle Day. Just as I finished reading it and becoming even more excited about my date, in walks the same guy who set me up wearing a grey suit. I’m sure my face showed some major disappointment, but I did my best to fake a smile. I couldn’t believe I had been bamboozled into one of the most awkward dates ever.


The final nail in my dating coffin was last night when a guy cancelled on me because I needed 30 minutes to help my parents.  When did it become unacceptable to help your dad who just had surgery and your mom who is in a wheelchair? I was hurt because this was the guy I really liked, but it also was a wake up call that this dating experiment was not working and needed to end.

I’ve dated the most I ever have in the last three months. What I realized during this time is that dating for the sake of dating is overrated. I am not so desperate or lonely that I need to date random guys just to say I’m actively dating.

Now I’m not saying I’m giving up on finding love, as I’m still a believer. However, I am giving up on online dating. I am giving up on letting just anyone set me up. And I am definitely giving up on going on random dates just because I feel lonely.

You see I would rather be lonely any day than chase guys that are not worthy of my time or energy.

I’m almost embarrassed to say, but the best advice I got during this dating experiment was from my 19-year-old cousin. She told me “stop searching and let him find you!” and she is right. That’s what worked for me in the past, so I’m going back to focusing on enjoying my life. If Mr. Right comes around great, if not, I am going to be ok on my own for now.

What are some of your dating nightmare stories?


An eclectic, world traveling sista from San Francisco expressing 'Rogue-Thoughts' on food, travel, music, fashion and living an authentic life unapologetically.


  • Reply July 20, 2015


    I feel for tou. But I am not clear on what was wrong with the guy in the grey suit. All that effort sounds extremely sweet. Had he been someone you were otherwise crushing on, I wonder of you would’ve felt or reacted the same?

    • Reply July 20, 2015

      Danielle D. Washington

      The gesture of grey suit guy was great, but the execution was creepy. Even if there was any attraction, him telling ever random stranger on the street that it was Danielle Day was weird. I’m convinced if I was a few shades lighter, I’m sure I would had been red with embarrassment. I also spent most of the date trying to remove his hands from touching me, which made me uncomfortable all night. Thank goodness he did get the clue and did not to go in for a kiss once the night was over.

  • Reply July 20, 2015


    *you, even.

  • Reply July 24, 2015


    Keep on being your true authentic, amazing, beautiful self and enjoying doing what it is that pleases you. He’s out there. It’s like along the same lines of …when the student is ready to learn, then shall the teacher appear.

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